Navigating Separation & the Festive Season
A Kind & Practical Guide for Families This Christmas
For many families, the festive season is full of excitement, routine, and tradition. But if you’re separated — or going through a separation — Christmas can feel very different. There’s more pressure, more emotion, more logistics… and for many, more conflict too.
Add to that the reality that most family law firms (including ours) close between 18 December and 5 January, and it’s easy to see why this time of year can feel overwhelming.
So if you’re navigating Christmas in two homes… grieving the loss of how things used to be… or worried about what the holidays might bring, this guide is for you.
We’ve brought together gentle, practical advice to help you prepare early, keep the kids’ Christmas calm and happy, and support your own wellbeing through what can be a tough few weeks.
- Start With What Matters Most: Your Children’s Safety & Sense of Security
Separated or not, children thrive when they know what’s happening and what to expect.
In the lead-up to Christmas, try to:
- Explain the plan clearly (in age-appropriate language).
Who they’ll see, where they’ll be, and when. - Keep routines where possible, especially around sleep, meals, and downtime.
- Avoid conflict in front of them. Christmas magic disappears fast when kids are caught in the crossfire.
- Honour the child’s needs over the adults’ preferences.
Christmas isn’t a competition — it’s about connection.
If you have a Parenting Plan or Court Orders, review them now so you’re not scrambling at the last minute. If you don’t, start talking early about arrangements for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, and the broader school holidays.
The goal: give your kids clarity, not chaos.
- Acknowledge Your Own Feelings — They’re Valid
The first Christmas after separation can be confronting.
It might feel lonely, different, or emotionally heavy.
You may be grieving traditions, missing your children, or feeling anxious about navigating new dynamics.
All of these feelings are completely normal.
Here are a few things that can help:
- Don’t pretend you’re fine. You don’t owe anyone emotional perfection.
- Reach out for support. Friends, family, therapists, support groups — lean on people who lift you.
- Let go of old expectations. Different doesn’t mean bad — it just means new.
- Create small new traditions (for you and for the kids).
It could be something as simple as a sunrise walk, a special breakfast, or choosing a new ornament each year.
Your emotions deserve space — especially during a season that often amplifies them.
- Communicate Early (and Kindly) With Your Co-Parent
Even in the most amicable separations, Christmas logistics can get complicated.
Try to approach planning with:
- Clarity: Confirm times, dates, locations, and handovers in writing
- Flexibility: Life happens — kids get sick, traffic delays plans, and sometimes things need to change
- Respect: Even small kindnesses go a long way at this time of year
- Boundaries: You can be polite and firm at the same time
Keep in mind:
Last-minute disagreements are much harder to resolve once legal offices close.
Now is the time to iron out potential problems before they escalate.
If communication is difficult or unsafe, consider using:
- A co-parenting app
- Email rather than text
- A trusted third party for handovers
And if family violence is a concern, your safety (and your children’s safety) must come first. Reach out to support services if needed.
- Understand Your Legal Options Before Offices Close
If you think you may need legal support over the holiday period, it’s important to act before 18 December.
A few important notes:
- Separated parents can create their own informal agreement for Christmas — but put it in writing to avoid confusion.
- A Parenting Plan is a more structured agreement, signed by both parents.
- Court Orders are legally enforceable — but deadlines for holiday-related applications are strict and may have already passed.
- If arrangements are unsafe or repeatedly breached, you may need urgent legal advice — and the earlier you reach out, the better.
You don’t need everything sorted perfectly.
But you do need clarity, predictability, and a plan.
- Create a Christmas That Feels Calm, Safe & Joyful for the Kids
Children don’t need extravagance — they need presence.
Here are gentle ways to help them feel grounded:
- Keep conflict away from their ears and eyes
- Encourage them to express how they feel
- Help them understand that it’s okay to love both parents
- Give them permission to enjoy themselves
- Keep Christmas simple — less pressure, more connection
- Reassure them that Christmas can still be special, even if it looks different now
Remember: children mirror the energy around them.
A calm parent creates a calm home.
- And Finally — Be Kind to Yourself
Separation is hard enough. Doing it at Christmas… that’s a whole different kind of emotional load.
If this festive season feels messy, complicated, or overwhelming, please know:
You’re not failing.
You’re navigating something incredibly hard.
You’re learning as you go.
You’re doing your best for your children.
And that’s what matters most.
Need Support Before the Holidays? We’re Here.
Respect Legal will be closed from 18 December to 5 January, so if you have questions, concerns, or want to create a clear Christmas agreement before we close, now is the time to get in touch.
We’re here to help you plan ahead, protect your children’s wellbeing, and navigate the holiday period with clarity and confidence.
03 9596 9899
www.respectlegal.com.au